The Pedestal is a Facade
Perhaps you have a friend or a co-worker who you’ve looked up to and it seems as if they are glowing and floating above you. This person seems to be everything you want to be. They seem to have it all. You see all these qualities that you admire, and want to be. Maybe they have a swirl of friends around them at all times, they are doing all the cool things for all the important causes, they have a spouse who is also just as shiny and sparkly, when they speak, in your mind, rainbows and unicorns are spewing out of their mouths. Heck, they are the unicorn! They are the rainbow! And, they are floating around living their perfect life. They are the image of all perfection.
Until one day, the illusion crumbles and you’re left wondering what the heck happened.
You were disillusioned.
I’ve been down this road in both work and social environments, and the only place it leads to is a nasty self-defeating thought pattern and the feeding of the hunger for approval.
If you’re anything like me, then you’ve tasted this bitter medicine at one time of your life. It seems like the other person's passion beats to the loudest drum of your potential. When you were in grade school, perhaps it was the kid in school whose parents drove a fancy car and had lots of toys. Or, it was the girl in high school who got straight As, was funny, played hockey, mastered the flute, did an adventure trip for girls, was a cheerleader, went on exotic vacations with her family every summer, was the best dancer, was the head of the debate team, and still had time to date the hottest and most popular guy in school. Ok, this person didn’t really exist for me, but you get what I mean. Or, maybe it was the awesome guy at work who kept getting promoted and had all the charisma to smooth over any drama even amidst a heated discussion. During meetings that started off as intense and with everyone on edge, at the end, everyone was smiling and joking. How did this guy do this? How could you be more like him?
I've been there.
At times in my life there was someone else that seemed to be doing all the cool things, and who acted in the coolest ways, and I wasn’t.
I think most of us have put someone on a pedestal at one point in our lives.
This person seems so much larger than life, that we place them in a higher regard than anyone else. We see them sitting on their shimmering throne. We see them doing, saying, and being everything that we think we should be.
But, what if we were to look closer? While the person may seem to sit on their gleaming white marble of solid stone, with birds singing at their head and rainbows overhead, the perspective from afar is an illusion. If we were to get up close and see the pedestal and person sitting atop it, we would see the slight imperfections of their foundation with deterioration that may only be seen by their closest of companions: their fears, shame, and vulnerabilities, their mistakes, disappointment, their loss, grief, and pain.
This pedestal is a façade.
When we view others as larger than life, we discount the path they took to get to now. We dissolve the rawness of their own journey and the trueness of their growth. We take away the uniqueness of their own path. We take away their human-ness. We take away their hard work, their dedication, and their joy. We take away our compassion for them. We disrespect them. when we neglect to view them as human. We only see the things we want to see.
When we negate to see the whole of a person in all their forms, we also negate to see these things in our selves, and disrespect ourselves in the process.
When we place people on a pedestal, we subconsciously see ourselves as "less than". We compare our story with that of the other, and that we haven’t achieved as much greatness. While we aspire to be like another person, we forget our own story, beauty, and uniqueness. We forget to have compassion for our own journey. Our vision is muddied by a false perception with only one set of eyes. We look to others for approval and acceptance rather than looking for the wisdom from within our center. When we seek this energy outside of ourselves, we erode our spirit and diminish our confidence. We forget our own essence and degrade our own foundation. As soon as you "pedestal" another person, you take away your own power.
If there’s someone in your life who you place on a pedestal, stop and remember that they too have a unique journey. Yes, they've had triumphs, and may have qualities that you admire. But, remember that you're only seeing them through your own filter. Instead, see them through the eyes of compassion.
Then, build your own pedestal, and place yourself on top of it. Shine your light as radiantly as you can by being and doing what feels right for you, in your best way. This allows you to take care of your own foundation. Build yourself up so that you see yourself on equal ground with everyone around you and celebrate all of these unique and interesting stories.
It's ok to aspire to certain standards, morals, or behaviors, just make sure they are yours to live up to. Remember that we each have our own story, our own path, our own journey, and our own gifts to bring to the world.
Be your own potential.
