The Gift of Fear
Part of this past 8 months has been reclaiming my sense of “self” and getting to the heart of what was making me feel low energy. I wanted to feel the flow of life and energy like the the dew on a flower petal after a fresh rain.
My story continues to unravel…
I’ve always known that writing is a way in which I can share, heal, and inspire. This is also a message I’ve received in many other forms. I often seek guidance from an Ayurvedic Astrology expert who has a store just down the street from my home called Tibet Imports. Her name is Sarita. For around $55 you get a reading and a custom mala that will help to support your path.
It always blows my mind with just how spot on these readings are for me. To receive a reading, she only asks for a few pieces of information: your birth date, birth time, and the location of your birth. That’s it. She prints your chart and then begins to channel this information as if it was all the ancient wisdom of the Gods coming through her in the purest form. The first time I experienced her gift was a few years ago. I had gifted the love of my life with one of her readings. He had never experienced anything like this. He came home and I could sense that he was awestruck by the information she shared that seemed to be directly aligned with some of his traits, experiences, and areas of challenge.
I was curious and so after a few months, I paid for my own reading. All of information she gave me was that I tend to be “up in my head”, I am a healer and a psychic, it’s important for me to write about my spiritual experiences, that others need this information, Thursdays are an important day of the week, and that almonds are important to me. What?! Did she say “almonds”? I asked her to clarify this for me and she confirmed that yes, it was almonds that she mentioned. And, Thursdays do tend to be a good day for me.
This was one of those weird moments when I knew this wasn’t B.S. How could she know that I ate almonds every day and that they are a food that can sustain me? Somehow, my chart was aligned with my experiences and things I knew about myself, but couldn’t describe in words.
Most recently, I went for a reading just two weeks after my last birthday at the end of August 2016. I had just resigned my job as a Manager of the IT Quality Office at a local hospital. I had been in IT for 23 years. This was a difficult time in my life. I had felt a slow and steady depression in the 9 months prior leaving that I couldn’t explain. I became disengaged and virtually apathetic. I hadn’t felt this low in many, many years and just wanted to heal. I didn’t tell her any of this.
She delivers her message in a way that feels like the purest form of love. Often there are seas of compassion in her eyes as she connects with you. It is a heart-to-heart conversation and I can feel this palpable “knowing” as if she can see right through me. The experience is both humbling and honest. This last reading wasn’t anything but extraordinary. She told me that there would be drastic changes in my life on August 11th. That was the last day of my job at the hospital. She also told me that my chart is ruled by Mercury and that communications is one of my gifts. She confirmed again that I am deeply spiritual and that writing about my experiences is my gift to the world.
After I left my “regular” job, I started journaling as a healing exercise. It was the self-care that I needed. This was just for me. I had been down the self-critical path for way too long and had completely lost my mojo. I made a commitment to heal so that I could regain my strength, confidence, and understanding of my path. She spoke that it is important that I utilize my creative talents and express them not only through my writing, but through dance and other art forms. How did she know that I am a dancer?
She explained that after September, I would have many opportunities. Just after that I had been engaged by a friend who asked if I wanted to teach dance at a local reputable massage school that incorporates many forms of movement including dance into their training. I had somehow started making jewelry. I had made a few pieces for close friends for their birthdays. Suddenly, I just started making pieces and channeling my talents through my hands. I had made around 50 pieces in just a few weeks. I had always loved jewelry, the healing properties of gems and minerals, and was now connecting these to spiritual experiences, Goddess energy, and the healing inspiration of nature.
This energy turned into people reaching out to me to inquire about jewelry parties, vending opportunities, and other events. Friends were coming out of the woodworks and gifting me supplies and other things that would enable my jewelry making. It was something I could have never anticipated. I still had a lot of fears and anxiety, and yet, I trusted that I needed to “roll with it” and continue down this path. It was as if the Universe was sending all sorts of energy my way because I had finally decided to make a healthy change. I was taking care of myself, and because of that, the collective energies shined through me.
Writing the messages that accompany each of my pieces is truly a healing process for me. Sometimes I create the piece and don’t even know if anyone will appreciate it. I made a few pieces in the very beginning that just recently sold. My old perfectionist ways of not sharing my art for fear of criticism have been released and replaced with my goal to create for the shear benefit of expression – to create something I find beautiful.
I’ve been told that people can feel the energy channeled through the piece they purchase. This is the most joyful compliment I could receive.
Now that I’ve put myself out there with my jewelry, it has allowed an opening in other areas. Because of the gift of appreciation I’ve received from my jewelry, I feel my mojo returning. I have allowed this energy to fill me up through dance, and now with writing for a much larger audience.
While my fears are still just beneath the surface, and I am transforming that fear into enthusiasm and appreciation of my unique journey. My gift is to share and I am finally listening to spiritual guides like Sarita and others who remind me of my path.
Keep encouraging those close to you. It means the world to know I am surrounded by loved ones who, no matter what, love me for being ME and see and appreciate my unique gifts.
Find your gifts and share them! Encourage those close to you to follow their path. This is how we find strength to push beyond fear into the bliss we deserve.
This is how the world heals.
